Bad Homeschooling Day PDF Print E-mail
Wednesday, 21 September 2011 13:57

Today has been a very bad homeschooling day (if you can even call it a homeschooling day). My lack of patience has always made me doubt my homeschooling abilities and today my patience hit rock bottom and I just threw in the towel.

You see, I bought a numbers workbook so Z could start practicing his numbers. I told myself that it was just for practice and it was no biggie if he didn't actually learn how to write them perfectly, but in reality I just assumed he would pick it up rather quickly and he would complete the book in the first 10 weeks. I assumed it was going to be simple. I don't know why I thought that, but I did. We did numbers 0 and 1 the first two weeks and he did GREAT. I was pumped. But then we got to two and he didn't do so great. Then we tried three and he did even worse. So I decided to spend this week reviewing two and three and I attempted to make it more fun.

This morning we took it outside and started going over our numbers with sidewalk chalk. I figured that playing with sidewalk chalk had to be more fun than writing in a workbook with a pencil. Apparently sidewalk chalk and school are not supposed to mesh. Zachariah didn't want to write a two or a three with the chalk. He didn't want to let me help him. He wasn't being rebellious or disrespectful, he honestly had NO interest in doing it. He just wanted to draw for fun. I don't know why that pissed me off as much as it did, but I flew off the handle. Something in me snapped and I just threw in the towel for the rest of the day. And then I tried to guilt him. I told him that since he can't cooperate and do the FUN activity I had planned that we were not doing school today. I stomped around the house and talked to him with an attitude for the rest of the morning.

I was mad at him. I was mad because he didn't want to do what I had planned, but I was also mad because he wasn't able to write the numbers two and three. I went into this school year very confident that he would be able to learn to write his numbers, but he hasn't really grasped that concept yet. Some numbers are just too hard for him to "get". And I got mad the very moment I realized that he was just not getting it.

Who does that? Who gets mad at their kid for not knowing how to write the number three?? Good grief, he is only four! Why on earth did I try to make him feel bad for not knowing how to write his numbers? Isn't the whole point of school to LEARN?!

This morning I felt defeated, but now I just feel stupid. I should not have reacted like that. I should not have made him feel bad for not knowing how to write his numbers. I should have been ok with the fact that he is just not ready for certain things. But instead I yelled at him and held a grudge for a few hours. Thank goodness Zachariah is quick to forgive. Thank goodness he doesn't hold a grudge. Because if anyone had an excuse to be mad it was him.

I knew this homeschooling thing was going to be a learning experience for the both of us, but I really had no clue I would be showing my ugly side only five weeks in.

I don't exactly know how I am going to make it to the end of the year with even a fraction of my sanity in tact, but I feel quite sure that this whole homeschooling experience is going to do wonders for my prayer life!

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